Consider failure. Think about it. Look into its face and
eyes. Scary, huh? What does it look like? The causes of Failure, that is.
Doubt. Distrust. Fear of the Unknown. These are most likely high on the list of
your fears. What do you do about it?
Far too often we look for instant fixes. Instant
gratification. I have always called it the “30 Second Microwave Brownie” state
of mind. From this perspective many people, far too many, who want a moist,
rich, chocolaty brownie like our grandmothers used to make; however, we want
all of that now. Therein lies the
problem. An instant fix that gives all of the benefits and rewards of going the
long haul without the time, effort, and investment just does not exist. It does.
Trudging through all the muck is no guarantee of success.
That is what scares us most deeply. That fear of failure. How do we build the
confidence to overcome big or huge obstacles when we have never tackled
something like “that” before? Let’s take a look at techniques the most elite
warriors, the Navy SEALS, use throughout their training and their lives.
In his book The Way of the SEAL Mark Divine instructs us to
list our commonly used words. Take a look at that list. Does it contain words
like Maybe, Good, Defend, Try, Failed, Can’t, or Maybe? Take out your
thesaurus. Find active and strong words to replace these with. Try Definitely, Great,
Attack, Will, Do, Learned, or Definitely. This seemingly small detail is harder
to change than you might think. As a writer I can assure you that words have
meaning. Those meanings infiltrate our thoughts. Our thoughts drive our
actions. The results of those actions will be described with words. Be ever
aware of this cycle as it can make or break your will.
Another technique which the SEALS use is to practice
positive self-talk at the end of each day. As you are lying in your bed or,
perhaps, in your easy chair between everyone having gone to sleep and your
going to bed. You know, that quiet piece of time when you sip your drink and
reflect on the day’s business. These moments are when what we think can have
the greatest impact. See your successes even in the smallest of things. Find
every success. Think about the fact that it is
a success. As you fall asleep, drifting in that twilight your mind is best
prepared for these images and words to take root. These will grow in your mind.
They will strengthen you.
This will feed your confidence. This will become the
wellspring of confidence you draw upon as you face each task, old and new.
Another technique Mr. Divine instructs is the concept of
Fail Forward. You see, not every task we take on is going to be a success.
Accept that fact. No plan survives first contact with the enemy. Ever. Not in
combat, on the mat in BJJ, not in business. Have your plans made, of course.
Just be ready to adjust your plan as you keep moving forward. This is the crux
of Fail Forward. It requires agility and flexibility. Perhaps these are
qualities not considered much, but they will make or break you.
Free yourself from the 30 Microwave Brownie mindset. Knuckle
in for the long haul so that you may create something that lasts. Fill your mind
and heart with strong, positive words. This will be the wellspring you draw
from when things change unexpectedly. Keep moving forward and adjust as you go.
Fail Forward.
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