Build something more important than any building in the world. Build this vitally important and integral item and you will reap the rewards. No mortgage required. No down payment or balloon payments. It costs you nothing to build this but a little time and honesty effort. What is it that I'm on about here? Rapport.
Dictionary.com defines "rapport" as relations, an especially harmonious relationship. Such a relationship will bring you more customers, more sales, more connections or whatever it is you are seeking.
I can guarantee that, if you put the effort into building rapport that you will reap the benefits in spades. Let me tell you some of my personal experience in this endeavor.
Back in 2002 I was a young(er) man and fresh into the world of Naval Intelligence. I got myself assigned to NATO working in the Balkans as a field operator. A field operator is a person who openly goes out to meet with people and gather information.
Based on the number of people seen and met with by each sailor, the amount of usable information that comes in is staggering. We were all taught that we had to become the best friend if everyone we worked or spoke with. By doing that we were assured that some of these people would eventually turn over their own mother to us.
. I learned that in European countries, unlike in America, business first is rude, disrespectful, and the quickest way to illustrate your view of the other person. They were nothing more than your next meal ticket.
What did I do? I would smile genuinely. I shared cigarettes. I drank their liquor with them. We shared jokes and humorous stories and, in some cases, war stories. Building rapport in this manner would take about 30 minutes or more for each meeting. These meetings were scheduled for an hour, nothing more.
How much "work" (information gathering) can two people and an interpreter get in 15 to 30 minutes? Sometimes nothing at all. Sometimes I would be given information about smugglers, crooked police, or a wanted war criminal.
How does this apply to your business's bottom line? Think about the last time you had to go face to face with a salesman. Cheap coat or not, a "salesman" is an annoying for. They're like that one mosquito that finds its way into your bedroom at two in the morning. They're the bits of dirt between your sock and show on a long walk. They're the monkey in the wrench.
I promise you, once you start on your pitch that is how the other person see you. Why? It's quite simple, really, a salesman is only ever focused on the next commission.
Car. Stereo. TV. B2B. It does not matter. They could have the answers to the biggest questions in the universe; however, if you feel like the person is "selling you something" you shut right down. Your eyes gloss over. Your mind goes back to the golf course, the beach, or even to cleaning out the rain gutters. You are anywhere but there and pay in attention.
Now, think about YOUR approach. Seriously examine what you say and do. How do you come across?
Not too pretty, huh?
You're likely asking about how to build this rapport. It is easier than you think.
1. Pay attention to the person your talking to.
2. Listen to them.
3. Allow them to talk to you and with you.
4. Ask open ended questions about who they are and what they do.
Pay attention, share a drink or a joke or just reflexively listen to them. You do this and the connection will build. Do this often enough and people will ask you for what you are not selling, but offering as a friend.
"How do I listen?" You have certainly, at some point, gone up to a person that you were attracted to and talked with them. Those you dated agreed to do so after you listened to them. Once they know that you are paying attention to them, they are almost ready to ask you for what you have.
That comes from trust. Trust comes from honestly paying attention to the other person.
That simple. It is not always easy, but it is simple.
Now, go out there, stop selling, and honestly listen.
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